The universe blessed me with the unique opportunity to stay home with my children
for the first ten years of their lives. I then entered into a very fast-paced and
highly demanding Education career as a high school teacher and then counselor of
300 students. After four years keeping up with the pace of life and trying to be
a wonderful mother as well I hit burnout. A severe pain bloomed in the heart
region of my chest and my body was in severe pain; so severe I needed my
helpful little girl to pull me out of bed as I winced with pain. Breathing was a
chore and I felt like for many months I was swimming through quicksand just
simply surviving. I was the type of counselor who was always accessible to
everyone else; as many of us women, mothers, grandmothers are. I would
skip lunch or eat my lukewarm bites while meeting with students or trying
to wade through the hundreds of unread emails that sat stale in my inbox.
I rarely made it to the bathroom without nearly peeing in my pants or
cramping up from holding it so long. I never took breaks from the moment
I woke up; 6am until 9:30 10:00pm when I finally felt I had done as much
work, mothering and wifery as I could possibly manage. At which time I
would sit with my husband and choke down some chips, two glasses of red
wine, and half a pint of chocolate peanut butter Haagen Daaz. Then I would
half stagger up the stairs to bed, burping up the sour decadent shame as I bent
down to pick up the balled socks that lay lifeless on the floor. I threw them into
the ever growing pile of stanky laundry that taunted me each day as I passed.
With close to $30 in late fees at the local library, I walked in shamefully, paid the
fees and picked up an audiobook I had put on hold, by author Cheryl Richardson
called “The Art of Extreme Self Care”. The next morning, after struggling to
wake up and shovel through the cement I called life, I got in my car and slid
disk one of the audiobook into my CD player. I then began my 20 minute
commute to work. By the third day I had listened to the entire audiobook and
each one of those days I put her instructions into practice in some miniscule way.
The first day: I ate my lunch in the staffroom, instead of scarfing it down in my
office while multi-tasking. It was only 10 minutes-but there was no one else there
and it was pure, unadulterated bliss! Afterwards I felt like a new, refreshed,
pretty little package that could take on the world. As I walked back to my office,
my husbands words rang through my mind-“Emily, did you know that prisoners
take breaks?” I started to realize that I was really self destructive and abusive
to myself. My days and nights were spent nurturing others and I had become
an invisible shell that was kicked into the dust for years. I went home and had
a long, severely hot bubble-bath; the candles I lit were the only flickering light
and I submerged myself under the lavender bliss, blocking out the demands
of my chaotic life. Silence…………………………………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
I exited that bathroom a refreshed, self-loving woman who was ready to
take life by the balls. I had accomplished the impossible; and done two
things in one day JUST for ME!
http://www.cherylrichardson.com/store/the-art-of-extreme-self-care/
90 Days to Spiritual Enlightenment 